I'm Lost Without You
by Shannon B
Summary: Syfy's Alice. Alice is back in her world and Hatter is still in Wonderland. Can he get over her and move on with the help of his two best friends? He faces old hurts and a new threat that comes for Wonderland. Will get heavy in later chapters. Please R/R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Based on SyFy's Alice. I don't own any characters you recognize. Noah and Riley are mine though. Please read and review, reviews make my world go round!

Summary: Alice is back in her world and Hatter is still in his. What happens when he has to move on, face old pain, and go up against a new threat?

His stomach dropped to the floor as he watched her go through the Looking Glass. Not even a chance to say good bye. Not a second to tell her how important she was to him, how much he wanted—needed—her to stay in Wonderland. Hatter swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and turned his burning gaze to Jack. The new king flashed a semi-sympathetic smile and shrugged. Hatter clenched his jaw, his hands balled into fists. How he would like to knock the smug bastard out. This whole mess had been his fault. And now…and now.

Hatter turned and threw the door open, taking a giant breath of air, desperate for the rising panic to recede. He looked around, at the sudden new world that Alice had given to his people. It looked a hell of a lot like the old world. At least in his eyes it did. Where to go? What to do? Without her and her crazy adventure, the world seemed dull and boring. The tea shop…yes, his shop. Hatter started walking in the direction of his ransacked shop, hoping that with each step that her face would be burned out of his memory.

* * *

_Two weeks later…._

"Where do you think he's been this whole time?

"What kind of question is that? If I had known, don't you think I would have told you?"

"Alright…geez. No need to get all worked up about it. It was just a question."

"Yeah, a dumb question. A question that didn't need to be asked."

"Well I'm glad you're in such a good mood today, Ri."

Dark blue eyes flashed. Riley stopped walking and turned to her brother. Fiercely swiping unruly blonde hair out of her face, she tilted her head. "Noah. Seriously? Stop being a buffoon."

Noah laughed, a good-natured bark of a sound. "Come on, Lion." He trudged along, letting his sisters' foul mood run off his shoulders. He knew that she was just as worried about Hatter as he was. She just didn't handle her emotions properly. Noah turned, walking deftly backwards. "Come on!" Riley had not taken a step. "I'm going on without you!" Noah turned again, taking purposefully large steps.

Riley stood for a few more seconds then felt a drop of freezing rain on her face. She jumped, as if pinched. Despite her long black coat and black boots, she felt a chill run through her. Sighing, she hurried to catch up to Noah. "You were going to leave me back there," she accused.

"Yep, I was indeed." Noah loved toying with his sister, even though they were both half way through their 20's. It never got old. "Stop looking so disgruntled. Ten more minutes."

The next few minutes were spent in silence, each sibling constructing what horrible fate had become of Hatter in their minds. Riley, prone to a high level of nervousness on a good day, was close to tears by the third imaginary scenario. "I bet he's dead. You've seen the people he hangs out with. Murderers, thieves, criminals."

"Ri, _we're_ criminals," Noah reminded her.

"Yeah, but not criminals who would chop up their friends into pieces and leave them for his real friends to find." Riley swallowed hard, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"That's not what happened. Don't be ridiculous. Hatter's fine." Noah forced his voice to be optimistic. In all honesty, he didn't know what he would find when he reached Hatter's shop. Noah didn't have many friends—hell, Hatter didn't either—but this was his best friend. In all the years that they had known each other, Hatter had never been away for this long without keeping in touch. Riley was right, Hatter did get involved in some shady deals. But no more shady than the siblings and they were still alive. For now at least.

They reached Hatter's shop and stopped in front of the entrance. It was dead quiet. Two weeks ago that would have been unusual. But now…everything had changed. The Queen was gone and Jack Heart was now running the show. Wonderland was a changed place. For good or bad was yet to be seen. "Come on," Noah said, his voice seemingly creating an echo.

Riley and Noah stepped cautiously through the doors. Everything looked normal. Cluttered and dusty, but still…normal. But the silence was not normal. It was downright eerie. The two made their way toward Hatter's quarters. "Hatter," Noah yelled. Riley smacked her brother on the back, her small hand a pathetic weapon against her brother's broad back. "What," Noah asked incredulously.

"Be quiet! What if someone is here?"

"If someone was here, then they already know that we're here. Stop being a baby."

Riley's eyes widened for a second then narrowed. "I'm not a baby." To prove it, she walked firmly past her brother, heading to Hatter's quarters with her head held high. She flung the doors open and walked in confidently, disappearing into the dimly lit room.

"Riley!" Noah was confident in his own ability to protect himself and his sister but he didn't want her to walk into a dangerous situation first. He jogged ahead into the room and stopped beside his sister, facing her with worry and anger painted on his face. "You're going to get yourself hurt." When she didn't acknowledge him, Noah followed her gaze and his stomach dropped.

"Hatter."

His best friend, the person who he had known since he was six years old, the vibrant and untamable lad that had been his partner in crime, both literally and figuratively, looked like a man who had given up on life. He was slouched in the corner, a bottle of undoubtedly hard liquor hanging in his hand. Small beakers with labels like 'Happiness' and 'Joy' were scattered throughout the room—all empty. Hatter's clothes were rumbled, his skin pale. He looked up with eyes that could have belonged to a dead man.

Riley crossed the room in a run, her heart beating hard in her chest. Tossing her wavy hair out of her eyes, she knelt down in front of Hatter. "Hey there. How are ya, buddy," she asked, her voice attempting to be lighthearted but only coming out shrill. "Where have you been, huh?" Her questions were met with silence. Hatter looked past her into nothingness. Riley looked back at her brother, who appeared almost as frozen as Hatter, and turned back to her friend. "What have you been doing all this time? We were worried." Still no response.

Riley reached out and gently tilted Hatter's face to look at her. His eyes connected with hers. Cold and dead. She had never seen him like this. Never. Not when his parents had been killed. Not when his brother had betrayed them all. Not when she had broken his heart. Never. "David," she whispered, her voice cracking. "Please talk to us."

Noah snapped out of his trance at the sound of his sisters' pained voice. He went to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey Hatter. It's been a long time, man. How about you give me that bottle, hm?" Noah gently took the bottle out of Hatter's hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Hatter wasn't drunk. Well, not as drunk as he would like to be and not as drunk as his friends thought he was. Unfortunately, he was completely self aware. In the time that it had taken for him to straighten things in the shop, down the oyster's lovely little gifts, and raid the liquor cabinet that had aided so many bidders in the past, he had not once been able to shake the terrible awareness that he had stayed. Had let Alice go so easily. Despite this self awareness, he hadn't the strength to explain to the two people that knew him best what had happened. He would explain, of course, just not now. Hatter had allowed Noah and Riley to believe that he was incapacitated, to avoid any semblance of explanation that they would undoubtedly want. They had gotten him to bed, just as they had done countless times before. Just as they had done for Noah countless times before. And Riley…well, Riley had never gotten to the point where she had needed them to nurse her back to sobriety.

He laid in bed, his eyes shut against the rays of light that streamed in the windows, illuminating a light curtain of dust on everything. _Alice._ Every time he thought her name, he felt a sharp ache in his stomach. If she had just stayed…why hadn't he asked her to stay? He ran a hand through his hair, agitated at everything. Suddenly he felt claustrophobic. This bed, this shop. He needed out. Hatter sat up and swung his legs around the side of the bed.

"Oy, how are ya, mate," Noah asked from his seat near the door. Hatter jumped. He had been so engulfed in his thoughts that he hadn't seen his friend. _Gettin' sloppy, Hatter_.

"Fine. Jus' fine." Hatter didn't meet his friend's gaze. He knew Noah well enough that he could tell he wasn't fooled. Twenty one years of friendship did not afford a person privacy.

"Really? Somehow I doubt that," Noah said, his tone friendly. He too knew his friend inside and out. He knew that Hatter would lie to save his own neck, but it hurt him nonetheless that the man he considered a brother wasn't talking. "So. Where you been, hm? Riley's been worried," he joked, his own concern heavily evident on his face.

Hatter ran his hands over his face, trying to clear the cobwebs from his head. Trying to concoct a story that Noah would believe. "I've been around. Jus' busy. You know how it is." Still not meeting Noah's eyes.

Noah sighed and shrugged, a motion that flashed an image of Jack in Hatter's memory. "Alrigh', suit yourself. It's not like you worried my sister sick or anythin'. Not like we come all the way out here and took care of you."

Shaking his head, Hatter let a half smile creep onto his face. "You really know how to guilt a guy, you know that?" Avoiding the subject at hand. _Just keeping dancing around it, Hatter. You're good at that. _

Luckily, he didn't have to dance for long. The door to his sleeping quarters opened and Riley stopped. She looked from Hatter to her brother back to Hatter and burst into a smile. Throwing her arms around Hatter's neck, she kissed his cheek. "You're alive," she exclaimed, over dramatic as always.

He closed his eyes, letting her keep her arms around him. _Alice._ "Yup, I'm alive." Riley let him out of her iron hug and sat next to him, her legs folded under her on the bed.

"Noah probably told you that I was worried. But I knew you were fine." Her tone was light but her eyes kept scanning Hatter's face for…something. She wasn't quite sure what she was looking for, but when she saw it, she would know. "So, what have you been up to?" _Keep your tone light. Don't scare him off._ Using the same tone of voice she used with the men that she conned, Riley said, "You could have at least told us where you were going. It would have been nice."

Hatter's head snapped around to meet her gaze head on. He recognized that tone and was disgusted that she—that they—were trying to use his own tricks on him. He couldn't be conned into telling them anything. Even if they were his best friends. The only family that he had. "Stop it, Riley. Look, thanks for what you've all done, but I'm fine. I 'ave a lot to do, so if you could jus'…" The sentence trailed off, in an attempt to not be ruder than he was already being.

The siblings looked at each other, that maddening look of concern still on their faces. Hatter shook his head, stood, and crossed the room in a few quick strides. He continued until he was on the front porch, taking in deep breathes of crisp air. It had gotten much colder the past few weeks. Winter was on its way.

"Davey! Stop!" Riley was suddenly on the porch with him, Noah standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his broad chest. Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she put her hands on her hips. "What is your problem? You disappear for two weeks and expect for us not to worry? It doesn't work that way."

Hatter whipped around to face her. He had reached his breaking point. Was it too much to ask to just be left alone? "Well it should! It should work that way! All I need is some bloody time by myself and you two have to come and act like…like…"

"You're friends? People you've known your entire life that care about you," Noah finished for him.

Hatter rolled his eyes and turned away. He was about to respond with a snide comment when something in the distance caught his eye. Behind the shed, where he and Alice had hid from Mad March just a few short weeks ago, he thought he had seen movement. Ignoring Noah's ongoing speech about friends being family and blah blah blah, Hatter squinted, trying to get a better look. Yes, there it was again. Movement. And then a figure stepped out from behind the shed, just enough for Hatter to see. "No bloody way." An electric jolt seemed to go through him, leaving his whole body tingling. "What…"

The person, if one could call it that, had his suit, his stance, but not the head that Hatter had last seen on him. Instead of a rabbit, it was now a wolf. _It can't be. I killed him. Someone else?_ Hatter didn't have time to contemplate any more. He turned on his heel to his friends. "Yep, you're right. I'm sorry. Let's just get inside, hm?" Noah's mouth dropped open and Riley raised a suspicious eyebrow. Hatter clasped his hands together and then held then apart, his mind racing. "Uh, right. Come on, come on now. Let's all go inside, yes?" He looked back over his shoulder at where the figure had been standing, now just an empty patch of dead grass. Hatter's eyes scanned the rest of the property wildly. _Get inside_, his body seemed to be screaming at him. Grabbing Riley by the arm and pushing Noah back into the foyer, he slammed the door and bolted it shut.

"What the hell is going on, Hatter," Riley asked, her voice hard and accusatory. He never ceased to be impressed at how quickly her persona could switch on and off. Sighing, he leaned against the door and looked at his friends.  
"I have a lot to tell you."


End file.
